We’re okay. We’re steady. Like the stars lighting up the sky tonight. Who needs grand declarations when some part of us has always known we’ve loved each other’s soul through many lifetimes and incarnations? The soul has always known. It’s just that this time, it took us a while to wake up and remember.
I thought of abandoning you for the nth time but it seems like I only hurt us both. I can feel your joy whenever the Universe nudges us a bit closer, but I can also feel your sadness and pain when I’m on the edge of giving up. And sometimes the frustration makes me want to “punish” you. I tried to deliberately ignore the nudge. I let ego and pride poison my feelings. Those 3 days were brutal for me–like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I was moody and snappy to say the least. It was a quiet torture–knowing what you wanted and needed to do, and denying yourself of it. Only when I finally faced it and purged the fear spreading the poison inside me did I find peace within me again. As I weaned myself off the poison, it was like being reborn. I was a clean vessel again–open to receiving blessings from the Divine and letting the light permeate every corner, every crack and crevice. I remembered this love that lights me up from the inside out. A love without conditions, without fears, without expectations. A love that’s infinitely bigger than myself, than you, or anything we’ve ever imagined. And so, I let this love guide me to do what’s best and I surrendered it to the Universe. I let my love reach out to you with what I do best: with caring words.
We’re okay. We’re steady. And we’re hugging each other’s soul in the vast celestial expanse.
Original: 01-10-2021 (pre-Capricorn New Moon)
Edited: 02-04-2021 (post-Leo Full Moon)
Image credit: Erwan Hesry (@erwanhesry) on Unsplash