An Affair Like No Other

She takes off her hat and kicks up small splashes amongst the waves. She inhales long breaths of the sea air, which clear her head. Possibly the ones observing her speculate then about the manner in which delight seems to overtake her and to fill her with the joy of anticipation. And are surprised as she is by her acceptance of her fate. For in the space of time it has taken to walk from the seawall to the sea, perhaps the distance of a hundred yards, she has passed from being a girl, with a child’s pent-up and nearly frenzied need to sweep away the rooms and cobwebs of her winter, to being a woman. — Fortune’s Rocks (Anita Shreve)

I imagine that might be a bit like how I welcomed the waves at sea, sans the part about discovering desire, of course. Mine’s more of recapturing that feeling of blissful freedom every time I reunite with the sea.

It was dark. Whatever bit of light we had came from artificial sources. Even the moon and the stars chose to conceal themselves. The sea was a huge rolling mass of darkness. I was hypnotized by the sound and sight of waves crashing on the shore; I just had to see it all up close. I picked up my slippers and walked to the shore slowly, tentatively, as if every imprint I left on the sand, every step mattered. I skirted dangerously close to the water’s edge, letting small waves lap at delicate feet. The water was very warm and inviting indeed; a contrast to the slightly chilly air. I was excited. A splish, a splash. I kicked my feet playfully, delighting in the feel of both water and sand caressing my feet. I could smell the salt in the air, every breath reinvigorating both body and soul. I was awestruck as I took it all in–the semi-darkness and the rough waves, both a magnificent and terrifying sight. I decided to flirt with danger and be a little adventurous. I ventured a little further, advancing as though I would brave every wave head on, and then retreating when it almost crashes to my knees. I pulled my dress up so it wouldn’t get wet. Then suddenly I felt it–that familiar feeling of pure bliss, as if all my inhibitions fled and I was left standing there for all the world to see–real and vulnerable. I waded a little, splashed a little, laughed and smiled a lot. I almost couldn’t contain it–this love affair with the sea. 

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Originally written: June 1, 2009 (Livejournal)

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Love is Like Ice Skating

In honor of a departed friend’s upcoming birthday, this post is a memory of an awesome day we had, 13 years ago. I originally posted this on my Livejournal blog.

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Nov. 10, 2006
I was so excited to see Alyjane & Carla again after such a looong time. 🙂 Aly & I scoured both NBS and Powerbooks of Megamall and Shang before having lunch and we were later joined by Carla at the first Cine Europa screening of the day, 
“Karo and God Himself”.

This film was simply a joy to watch. Karo made me laugh with her stubborn determination in getting “God” to make her wish come true, and she almost moved me to tears as she learned a lot of valuable lessons and developed a pure friendship with him. Little Resi Reiner (Karo) was able to charm the audiences with her innocence, humor, and wit.

After Cine Europa, we went ice skating, which I haven’t done for 3 years. We were laughing at ourselves because we looked funny–3 child-like girls all giddy and giggly with their hands linked together. We remembered the first time we did this together, and the memory that stood out the most was of us slipping and falling and just laughing it off, not caring how silly we all looked as we were getting acquainted with our skating legs. I was back to 0 again since I forgot how to glide on ice without hogging the bars. But I still haven’t forgotten the mixed feelings of bliss, excitement, and fear when I’m learning how to skate. I was having so much fun, I didn’t notice that I already had bruises because of the tight skates. After I got home and I’ve already rested my bruised feet, I had a crazy realization that love is like learning how to skate on ice. It’s an experience that makes you feel excited and giddy, and your heart race faster. (The moment I was finally able to face my fear of falling by letting go of the bars and gliding on ice–incomparable. I felt like I was flying and that anything was possible.) Of course, there’s still that slight fear that you might slip or fall, but once you get the hang of it, you feel pure bliss–as if you’re light and soaring on air, oblivious to everything else. You will still fall and you will feel a bit embarassed, but you will muster all your strength to get up and start again, determined to make everything go smoothly and not to fall again. You will get bruises too but does that stop you from skating? Of course not. You do your best and hopefully you perfect it this time. But when do you finally stop? You stop when you’re so tired and your feet feels sore and every glide feels painful, or when you discover that you already have a lot of bruises from skating too hard. ❤

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Songs from my playlist: Light My Fire

Light My Fire (1968) :: José Feliciano

I grew up knowing José Feliciano’s version of Light My Fire was the original. We have a CD of oldies music I used to play every Sunday, and Light My Fire was one of my favorites. Then just a few years ago, I learned this was a cover version, and that the original was by the iconic rock group, The Doors. When I heard the original, it was confirmed without a doubt–José Feliciano’s version was still the best for me.

Sorry Jim Morrison and The Doors, but like José Feliciano’s cover version, slow and sweet wins my heart. ❤

Light My Fire was the first ever hit single by The Doors. It was released in 1967 and went on to become the band’s signature song and best-selling record. Riding on the success and popularity of the song, José Feliciano did a cover a year later. His was a truly inspired, jazzy version with a unique Latin flavor, a flute arrangement, and a seductive guitar riff showing off Feliciano’s fingering skills. I’m very partial to seductive and impeccable guitar riffs (That headbang-inducing electric guitar riff in Sweet Child O’Mine by Guns N’ Roses is still at the top of my list). I love listening to this with the volume almost cranked full, earphones in, and with my eyes closed. Yes. That’s the best way to savor Light My Fire.

Source: Tim’s Cover Story

Yoga: Day 3

Today was all about hip openers. It was a day of gentler and more fluid poses that made me more aware I have hips I could hold on to. I learned that the hips are directly linked to the sacral chakra, or svadhisthana in Sanskrit. It means, “one’s own dwelling”. And since lately, I’m also learning a lot about energies from a completely different and inspired educational source, I know what the sacral chakra is all about.

It is the center of desire, passion, emotions, sensuality, and creativity. Not gonna lie. I would love more of those in my life right now. I didn’t get to my 30’s without feeling desire at some point in my young life.

But more important than that of course, I see the sacral chakra as this sacred energy I can tap into to inspire me to move forward with my dreams and creative ideas. If this sacred dwelling is balanced, it can also extend outwards, and be the spark that drives one to embrace and explore life with more joy, pleasure, and open trust.

So, my biggest takeaway from this day of learning is…yes, please to balancing my sacral chakra. 🧡🧡🧡

P.S. Orange is the color associated with the sacral chakra.

Eleven Changes

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”

-Yoda
  1. I never thought I would enjoy being challenged by yoga and want to do it again.
  2. I never thought I’d be excited to research and include vegan and vegetarian options in my diet.
  3. I never thought I’d be into meditation.
  4. I never thought I’d read and learn a lot from the likes of Tosha Silver and Abraham Hicks.
  5. I never thought I’d lose longtime friends only to meet beautiful and familiar kindred spirits I vibe with in unexpected places.
  6. I never thought I would rise up spiritually and find my own soul tribe.
  7. I never thought I would be a leader in my own way or a teacher/mentor to someone.
  8. I never thought I would uncover my long-buried unique voice and write poems and stories that people want to read.
  9. I never thought I could be a light to friends and anyone in need.
  10. I never thought I would believe in the Universe and guardian angels again.
  11. I never thought I would find love in someone so unexpected and trust that this person loves me too despite the silence and perceived obstacles.

And the constant theme running through all these changes I have gone through and are currently going through: “You are safe, you are blessed. You are loved beyond measure.” ❤🌻💛

Full Moon Healing

I have always been drawn to the hypnotic beauty of the full moon. In my imaginings, if I had lived in ancient or mythological times, I would’ve been one of those woodland nymphs who wore flower crowns and flowing white dresses, or wise women who braved the wilderness at night and cast aside all their worldly concerns to dance in ecstasy under the light of the full moon. And while I’m very much aware this would be labeled as pagan today (I don’t care much about labels, anyway), I still find the thought empowering. That these women harnessed power, beauty, mystical wisdom, and seduction into their physical forms, to use however they saw fit. These days, spiritual gurus say you can indeed harness the powers of the full moon by setting your intentions–anything you want to release and let go of. Since I can’t just go out into the woods and dance under the full moon (too many real world dangers at present to make this happen), I’ll settle for this instead.

I want to let go of people who have been untrue and have hurt me in any way. People who I gave my heart to once–my secrets, my innermost thoughts and feelings. Even those who at some point I considered family or someone I could entrust my life to but have done irreparable damage to the trust I gave them. There’s no going back now. But I do not regret the love and trust I gave away for it was my choice to give it to them wholeheartedly. They were learning experiences in my personal journey and soul growth. I can forgive, but it sure is a big damn well of relief to know that it’s okay to let them go for my own good, so thank you for all the things I learned from you. I am the strong woman I am today because of the painful but necessary changes I went through.

I also want to release doubts, worries, and fears dampening my enthusiasm for life. I am magic, I have power, I can create, I can make things happen. Most of all, I can write. And I can love. Strip away everything–all the titles and achievements and awards. All your money and material possessions. What’s most important is your ability to love and be loved.

All those times you were searching blindly for happiness and answers to your own questions in others–that time has ended now. What you wanted was yourself all along–whole and powerful. What you wanted was freedom and independence from anyone and anything preventing you to be your true self, to bloom and to shine. What you needed was to find love, strength, courage, and peace within yourself.