–The Language of Thorns: Midnight Tales and Dangerous Magic (Leigh Bardugo)
I believe that words spoken or written with intent can also be spells. Words have power. You can wield them for good or for ruin. Since I saw the connection between the words we release and manifestation, I try to be more conscious and compassionate with my words because I do not want to use them to deliberately hurt someone else and regret it later. Because I know too well I have been guilty of unleashing unfiltered, cutting words upon those who I thought deserved them, to friends and family. M who has been at the receiving end, told me I may look sweet outside, but my words can be whiplash too–coming out of nowhere and cutting like a knife. It’s a shadow I need to be constantly conscious of and work on. I want my words to heal. I do not want to use them to intentionally hurt people I love because doing so hurts me too.
Lies, however, are on another league of their own. One way or another, a lie will come back to bite at you. There is enough injustice and suffering swirling around in the world already, I do not want to contribute to the madness and machinery of lies.
So I choose to be kinder with my words. I summon the courage within me and try to communicate as honestly as I can even when the truth hurts just by the telling, and even if the recipient rejects it. When that happens to you, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. Honesty does not give you the power to control how others would react or respond. Ego thrives on control, and if you wanted that, it’s your ego you’re feeding. What honesty can give you is peace of mind. Understand that even when you bare your soul to another, and infuse your love and luminous energy into your words, some people simply aren’t ready to meet them at the same frequency. They may be facing battles you don’t know of, blocking them from accepting the gift of your words. Ultimately, we only believe what we choose to believe. And I respect that.
But that doesn’t stop me from speaking truths and communicating from my heart. I would rather speak and write from a place of love whenever I can for my own peace, and because I deserve the truth too. In amore veritas. There is truth in love. The last 3 words are my school’s motto–“Truth in love”. It’s not just a line I used to sing and recite before I went out into the world and found my way home again. I am a living testament to “Truth in love”. Truth in love is the essence of my soul.
This question from Mary Oliver is something I find myself going back to more frequently since quarantine time began. Covid brought changes to everyone’s lives in ways and degrees we never would’ve predicted. There’s one truth we can get from it: The world as we knew it pre-Covid would never go back to the way it was. And when you look at it from a different perspective, maybe this was bound to happen–a painful but inevitable part of our collective journey. Maybe we all needed to wake up to finally see what we need to change for ourselves, for others, for the world. Maybe we all needed to learn our karmic lessons in a way that forces us to face every one of them instead of just ignoring and running away from them the way we used to before. I understand the gravity of suffering and chaos it has caused. And the despair of wanting to do more–to help others, to change the world, but there is only so much you can do on your own while also managing to survive and thrive. So I focus instead on what I can do for now. Just for today, this one moment that I can hold–whatever I can do to care for myself and for my loved ones. And in moments of consciously connecting with my peace within, I explore my own answer to Mary Oliver’s question. I let that be my guide for the moment, for the day.
Dear one, in moments when you are overwhelmed and feel like you are drowning in the sea of burdens of daily living in Covid time, stop yourself.
Sit down, close your eyes, and put your right hand over your heart. Take 3 deep breaths. In and out. In and out. In and out. Focus on the flow of your breath and the soothing rhythm of the rise and fall of your chest, the warmth of your hand over the spot where your heart resides. Take more deep breaths as long as you need to. When you are ready, ask yourself this question:
“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Here is my own answer to the question:
🌻 Live with intention. 🌻 Be captivated with purpose. 🌻 Be guided by love and divine wisdom. 🌻 Sow kindness. 🌻 Shine my unique light. 🌻 Surrender to soul growth. 🌻 Enjoy the journey. 🌻 LOVE.
When you love, sometimes all you need is to hold space for your loved one. Surrender to the flow of the feelings, the experiences, the moments.
What I learned is to not hold on to the outcome or a specific outcome. And instead, be open to accept whatever comes–to embody the willingness to surrender.
I embrace who I am. I know what I want. If I would be blessed to be with someone, I want us to choose each other. Not assert “I saw you first”, “I love you more”, or I love you because you do this for me. Love doesn’t need to be dissected in dissertations or explained in koans. Sometimes it’s knowing you aren’t perfect, feeling unworthy sometimes, being scared of the unknown and everything you have yet to face together and separately, but in spite all of that, wanting with all of your heart to give it a shot. Because not doing so would mean giving up on a precious part of yourself too. It’s knowing that I want someone who would look at me even on the most difficult days with eyes that say I am worth it.
P.S. For anyone who has ever loved and offered their heart to another with so much trust and bravery…
I know this much is true: Some day, someone will go through the fire and offer their heart to you. 🔥🔥
To live in harmony, everything must be in equilibrium. When the scales have finally tipped too far, you need to step back and look at what needs to be balanced. It’s time to adjust and re-align– Remember to also be a receiver and not just a giver. A giving heart may be second nature to you, and it’s a beautiful thing because you’re tapped in to the wellspring of the Universe. But you also cannot keep on pouring from an empty cup. It is never wrong to give to yourself first, to prioritize you. Refilling your cup recharges your soul too.
Love is what you are. Do not let the heartaches of rejection and personal trials poison your capacity to love. Because your gift to the world is being someone who brings pure love into the lives of those you touch, even for brief moments. Being present with them, holding space for them when they most needed someone to remind them of hope and their best bits–their own light, courage, and strength.
Your aura has power. Use it to raise your own and the collective’s vibration. You are a lightworker, a wayshower, a manifestation of the divine here on earth. Claim it. Live it. The world needs you. The world needs more of us now more than ever. ✨💗✨