Bittersweet Symphony

Life is too short to hold on to anger, regrets, and what ifs.
Life is too precious to keep your fist closed around a wounded heart.
Life is not meant to be lived in darkness and fear.
Forgiveness doesn’t taste like caramel, but it’s a bittersweet gift only you can give to yourself.
We are not gods in this world, and sometimes we forget that we cannot control every element, every outcome, every little thing we want to happen.
The best we can do is to move through life like a butterfly–kissing flowers with freedom and joy, with every ounce of delight in our being,
unburdened by desires and devoid of expectations.
Living the best way we can for now,
savoring pockets of peace and happiness, finding little things we are grateful for every day.
If there is anything to hold on to, have faith and trust that everything that has happened in your life is guiding you to flow into the river of your dreams, to move through the fog and leave the darkness behind.

Hope and love intertwined are the anchors of your soul.

You are not meant for everyone nor should you strive to be for everyone.
You are here for a purpose only you can discover, explore, and fulfill.
You are here to be true to your heart and soul.
Even when you are walking the path you are guided to, there is no one-size-fits-all.
Ecstatic epiphanies do not happen every day.
Some days need more work in the matrix world than the spiritual realms.
Other days simply require rest and release.
And that is okay. Just because you are an eternal, divine soul in a physical body doesn’t mean you need to deny worldly pleasures and self-love rituals or forget about everyday responsibilities you signed up for.

Balance is the key like the High Priestess–the keeper of Universal wisdom and truths. She has her feet and her sacred service planted firmly on the ground. At the same time, she only needs to lift a veil to access wisdom in the spiritual ethers. She is both sides of the coin.

Balance comes and flows easier when you look at situations, people, and the world around you with the eyes of compassion and love.

So today, just be you–
Whatever that means and however you feel like embodying it.
Be both an observer and a participant of your juicy, wonder-filled, abundant life.
You are enough. You are worthy.
As you are right now.

For always.

•~•~•~•

From “In the Time of Butterflies”, a work-in-progress 🦋

Image credit: Karina Vorozheeva @ Unsplash

Purpose in Patience

Patience in love means timelessness of the heart, not waiting with bated breath and weighted expectations. It means you have surrendered to what you already know is true deep within your heart, and trusting that everything is unfolding the way it needs to. You’ve stopped attaching yourself to the when. It means being present in the now and focusing on what needs your immediate care and attention–your own needs, passions, and dreams, instead of spending all your precious energy on someone else or doling it out to multiple people and tasks at a time as if it’s unli rice. It means letting the past stay in the past, but honoring the lessons you’ve learned from it. It’s not projecting yourself too far ahead onto an unknowable future that you forget to savor a breathtaking sunset or a shared meal with a loved one.

Patience is that Ray Lamontagne song with the haunting chorus of:

“Be here now, be here now”

Reminding the listener to:

“Don’t let your heart get heavy
Child, inside you there’s a strength that lies”

There is purpose in patience. We have avocado trees at home and avocado is currently in season. Instead of using a net to get all the avocados one by one, I have the patience to let them be until they reach maturity. During this “waiting period” which doesn’t feel like waiting idly at all, I spend time like I always do. I do work that keeps me moving forward, not aimlessly. I reconnect with the divine to get my creative juices flowing. I tend to my soul’s garden of delights. I am reminded of avocados every day–it’s hard not to ignore those shiny, smooth emerald teardrops–tempting to me as apples were to Eve in the Garden of Eden. But I just take a longing look and my heart swells in gratitude for the blessing that I could almost taste–soft and creamy, a pleasure with muscovado. “Not yet, Lea. But almost there. Have patience, dearest. We are teaching you the virtue of patience.”

Then on a day when I least expect it, avocados just break off from the branches and fall to the ground in numbers. Only then do I pick them up one by one and enjoy the literal fruits of patience. You cannot force something to come to fruition until it’s time. Patience reveals its own rewards.

Release

I trust the journey of my life.
I release the inky tendrils of fears desperate to blind and claw their way at me.
I release thoughts, doubts, and anxieties that poison the mind and the blood.
I have no room for self-destruction, no reason to hide away my face, my power, my authenticity.
I am bigger than any trigger.
I choose to sit still in the garden of my soul–
To come from a place of love and compassion, instead of hurt and ego.
I release broken shards of the past cutting my skin and drawing blood, that have remained until now.
After enduring the pain, there is healing and an inevitable blossoming.
From this moment onwards, there is only union within myself and with the divine.
There is the beauty of now and what I make of it–gratitude, creation and possibilities.
There is faith, hope, and love.

~ I trust the journey of my life. ~

Photo by: Lea Vergara Apilado (Road to Masasa Beach, Tingloy Island, Batangas, 2018)

To be bold and have the whole pie

Love is both sides of the coin–you take the good and the bad, the happiness and the pain, the ups and downs–one can’t exist without the other. If you only wanted the good and happy times or only to avoid getting hurt, it’s not love that you want–it’s the illusion of it. A genuine love requires one to be bold and vulnerable at the same time. To give as much as you take, to surrender to its ebb and flow, to commit to the whole and not only choosing the parts you like. It’s the entire pie, and not just a slice. It is an unpredictable high risk and high reward investment.

Navigating the desires of the heart can be messy and confusing, especially when your default mode is the neatness and preciseness of logic, relying on the safety of what the ego says is best for you. But love can also inspire you to smash the walls you’ve built around you keeping you safe, and help you reclaim the courage you’ve always known was inside you. You can finally be free to explore what other wonders are waiting for you on the other side.

Image credit: Aleksandra Tanasienko @ Unsplash